Here’s A Wild (but real) HEADLINE — “Marlins May Have Offered Albert Pujols 9 years, $225 million” —

Report: Marlins may have offered Albert Pujols 9 years, $225 million

(And Now… (Parts of THE Report)

by Joe CapozziThe Palm Beach Post–

If the Marlins don’t get naming rights for their ballpark, maybe they can end up calling it The House that Pujols Built?

Buried in a Yahoo! column about Justin Verlander’s MVP chances was this paragraph:

“The Miami Marlins aren’t messing around,” wrote columnist Tim Brown. “Their standing offer to Albert Pujols is believed to be for nine years. With a competitive average annual value (say $25 million), that’s $225 million, minimum, and that’s more than what the St. Louis Cardinals are believed to have offered in the spring. Is it possible that two weeks into November Pujols could already have what will be his best offer?”

I have no idea if that figure is correct. If it is, the Marlins could end up paying Pujols more than they contributed to the building of the new ballpark ($155 million), as first pointed out by @FishatBat on Twitter and seen by my colleague Juan Rodriguez.

Meanwhile, Marlins baseball operations president Larry Beinfest was asked last night about whether the team would pursue Prince Fielder if it can’t get Pujols.

“I think we’re going to try to show interest in a lot of things,” he said with a chuckle. … …–

(Full Report Here:  http://blogs.palmbeachpost.com/marlins/2011/11/16/report-marlins-may-have-offered-albert-pujols-9-years-225-million/?utm_source=bleacherreport.com&utm_medium=referral )

Hmm…

…Yeah…

…Wellllll…

…Uhmmm…

…I’ll Bite.

Blessed-Be The Random-Maybe-True-Maybe-Not-Speculation!!! !!!

Without It, Where Would We Be!?!?!?!?!?!!!!

Exactly.

We Wouldn’t Be Here…

…like Here Here…

…ya know…

…In The Land of Milk and Honey and SPECULATION!

We Are MASTER-SPECULATORS!

You Know It.

I Know It.

Right Or Wrong…

…Like-It Or Hate-It…

…It’s Still KNOWN!

Humans Get MAJOR-LEAGUE Courses In Speculation Throughout LIFE.

It’s EVERYWHERE.

— — —

As Charles Bronson Said…

“Nobody Stays On Top Forever. NOBODY!”

(The Late) Charles Bronson

So I Roll With It…

…’cause…

…ya know…

…That’s How We Do It!

L8r On, My Peeps.

;-)

As Charles Bronson Said… “When You Love Someone, You Feel Their Pain.” Y’all May Not All Love Me… but I Need You ALL To Feel My Pain For Just A Moment…

…I Have a MAJOR QUESTION…

…That Requires an HONEST RESPONSE.

Period.”

Starting At The Age Of 13…

…I Began Having VERY PAINFUL Issues Regarding My Back And Spine.

I Took (yet another) Bad Tumble…

…Down 1.5 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS…

…At Our Junior High-School…

…Between Classes…

…So Like 50 People Saw It…

…and Another 40, or so, Claimed Having Seen It Just To Fit In MORE-SO.

TO MAKE A POINT…

…Well…

…This Time…

…I’d Was Hurt…

…BAD…

…Got The Wind Knocked Out Of Me…

…And It Twisted Me Bad.

Bad Bad.

That Same Day…

…My Father Took Me To a Chiropractor.

He Did The Full-Blown Work-Up.

Anything He Could Think Of…

…or So It Seemed and Felt.

The Work-Up Was Multiple Hours that…

…Very Honestly…

…Felt Like WEEKS.

I Was Hurting Bad…

…but Since It Was My BACK that Was Hurting…

…My Parents Were Taking NO Chances…

…Nor Was My Back-Doctor…

…Who Was Also My Father’s Back-Doctor.

Dad (basically) Said…

…I Want To Do This Right. He’s Only 13…

…He’s Too Young To Be Dealing with a Lingering Back-Issue…

…I Want The Works, Doc.

By Jeebus the Man DID.

My Spin Was Twisted with a Distinct Curve.

He Said…

…It’s Off By 7-Degrees…

…It’s Not as Bad AS Bad as It Could Have Been, but It IS Enough to Give Prolonged Consideration.

THE VERY NEXT YEAR…

…Same Set Of Stairs…

…Same Type Of Tumble…

…VERY Similar Injuries.

Then, You Have To Flash-Forward To 2000.

I Was 20yo.

I Was FREAKING OUT Because I Just KNEW KNEW KNEW…

…I Was Going to Miss The LAST Ferry of The Night…

…From Seattle, WA. to Bremerton, WA.

Paid My Fair…

…Went Outside and Noticed Someone On The Ferry Waving Their Arm.

They Were Doing So To Make Me HURRY…

…since They REALLY Wanted To Get It Going and Ending and Over.

So I Broke-Out in a MAD-DASH!

And Got Onto The TOP-STEP of The Large Staircase Before I Remembered…

…”SH*I! THEY HAVE STAIRS HERE, TOO!”

I Had a Habit of Using The RAMPS Mainly :(

However…

…That Tumble BROKE ME Of Said Ramp Habit, to Say The Least.

Also Lost a Good Watch in said Tumble.

I’ve Become a SOLID 80%-Stairs Guy.

Maybe Even 81%.

Solid’ish-Enough For Gooberment Work.

4 of 5 in Baseball Is Totally Awesome.

So I Figure I’m Hittin’ .800’ish in The Stairs Batting-Championship Race.

That’ll Do.

;-)

I’m Now 31-Years-Old…

…and I Can’t SIT For More than 3-Minutes unless I MAINTAIN PERFECT-Posture THROUGHOUT.

Period.

If I Don’t Maintain It???

My Back (more or yes) CRUMPLES.

I End Up in A Horrid Position…

…Where I Feel Like I Flippin’ HUNCHBACK.

So I Stand-Up.

I Put BOTH Fists Into The Middle Of My Back.

Then I ARCH-Backwards HARD.

My Family and Friends Can TOTALLY Tell Ya.

They Look At Me Saying “Damn (*while looking surprised*)…

Then They They Shake Their Heads and Carry-On BECAUSE…

…I’ve Been Doing That Since I Was 13-Years-Old.

They HEAR My BacK-CRACKING Rather Loudly At Times as I Get It Back-IN.

I Also Can’t Walk Distances WITHOUT Having To STOP…

…To Take The Time To PUT My BacK Back-IN At Least Once Or Twice.

So Yep Yep Yep, My Peeps…

…THE QUESTION IS…

…DO ANY OF YOU…

…KNOW ANY DECENT METHOD…

…In Regard To AT-HOME-EXERCISES…

…that STRENGTHEN THE MUSCLES IN THE BACK.

Period.

I Know Stretches Out The Ass, and I DO Use Most Of Them.

As I Watch The Rest Of Me Getting Better in Some Ways…

…My Spin, Middle To Upper Back Area…

…Feels VERY WEAK.

SO…

Is There Anything I Can Do Here At The House…

…that You Could Suggest To Help Strengthen My Back???

I’ve Been Doing Stretching Exercises and Such Forever…

…and a day…

…then 18 More Years…

…but I Keep Thinking If My Back Were Stronger…

…It May Help Me Last A Bit Longer Than Those 3-Pesky-Minutes.

I TOTALLY-APPRECIATE Anything You Can Suggest THAT IS…

…Still Considered LOW(er) IMPACT.

With My Stomach The Way It Is…

…and My Shins, Hips, Knees, Ankles, Feet, and OF Course BOTH Pinkies-Toes…

…I Tend To Struggle Mightily When Doing Exercises…

…that Create JARRING Effects.

You Wanna Go For a Walk?

I’ll Go 4 or 5 Miles With You.

You May Even Be More Tired When We’re Done Than I.

I Can Walk (seemingly tho not really) Walk Forever.

It’s My Favorite Form Of Exercise.

Always Has Been.

Always Will Be.

Running HURTS HORRIDLY HORRIBLY BADLY!

1993 Sucked.

Same Year I Took a Baseball To The Face and Fractured My JAW.

Yeah.

2000 Wasn’t Much Better.

Bad Years For Bradley Alan’s Physical-Health fer Sure!

 Yeah Yeah, My Peeps.

What Can I Do To Get My Back Stronger…

…without Damaging THE REST OF ME Too Badly.

THANK YOU THANK YOU Sooooooooo MUCH In Advance…

…For ANY Tips or Advice that Might Help Me.

7% Isn’t TOO Bad.

Being 13 Made It Potentially Worse.

At 31, It Just HURTS hahaha

And PLEASE DON’T SUGGEST MEDICAIONS.

I’ve Tried Them All.

None Do ENOUGH To JUSTIFY My Continued Use.

I’ve Lived With it for 18 Years…

…So The Rush Rush Rush Isn’t Required.

I’m a Patient Individual.

I Have All The Time In The World.

Patience Is NOT a VIRTUE.

Patience Is a LEARNED SKILL.

Most People Whom Are NOT Being Patient…

…Generally Are Either:

...1. In Pain or Dying...
...2. Are Late...
...3. They've Never Bothered To Learn How To Begin With...
...4. They Forgot?...
...5. Nature Beckons
etc etc

It Takes Time To Learn AND Learn It Well Enough.

Having Been In The Military…

…TRUST ME…

…When Your World IS “Hurry Up AND Wait”…

…You Learn Well…

…With Time…

…Patience CAN BE An AMAZING Personal-Tool in Life’s Game.

PERIOD.

Like ANYTHING Worth-While…

…The Learning PROCESS Is As IMPORTANT As The Knowledge GAINED.

BIG OLE PERIOD FO SHO.

Thanks Again For Listenin’in to My Long-Winded-Explanation…

…and I Appreciate Your Time AND Consideration.

— Bradley Alan