Thinking Aloud: Life Sure Is An Odd Duck, Ain’t It.

Well, Ain’t It?

Sure It Is.

My Life Has Always Been Of The Odder(er) Sort.

I’m The Guy That Everything Just Happened To.

If Something Bad Was Possible, I Took The Brunt.

If Something Good Was Possible, Chances Are It Eventually Did Happen In Some Small Way.

If Something In-Between Was Possible, Chances Are I Got The Far-Far-Far-Worse Side Of It.

But, I’m Not Really In The Mood To Complain.

I’m More Of A Mind To Quickly Say “THANK YOU” To You, My Peeps.

I Have My Reasons For Saying “THANK YOU” To You, And I Know I’ll Be Talking About Them More And More As Time Rolls Onward.

But, For Now, For This Moment, I’m Just A Thankful Man.

A Lot Of People Have Tried, And Have Done Their Bestest(est) To Help Carry Me Through These Past Few Years.

As Of Late Monday Afternoon, I Was Informed That A Longstanding Battle I’ve Been Fighting Has Finally Been Resolved.

It Has Been Resolved In MY Favor.

I Won.

My Life Of Hell And Bullshit And Sickness And Poor-Health And More And More Sickness, And Pain, And Suffering, And Blah Blah Blah, And Yakity Schmakity, Has Finally Paid-Off.

At Least, In Regard To This ONE Little Victory.

However, It Makes Me Feel Best Because FINALLY Someone Took Notice That Was In A Position To Do Something About It.

And, They Sided In My Favor.

I’m Elated,

I Feel An Enormous Sense Of Relief.

The 18,000lbs Elephant, With The 800lbs Gorilla Riding Said Elephant, Feel Lifted From Me.

Now I Just Need To Get This Pesky Monkey Off My Damned Back…

…And Perhaps This Chip Off Of My Shoulder…

…Oh, And The Thorn In My Side…

…Uh…

…Yeah…

…Nevermind.

But, Yes, “THANK YOU” Again, Everyone.

Now, Maybe Life Really Can Start Again.

Or, Hopefully, Continue Just Improving And Improving, Bit By Bit.

That Would Be Most Acceptable.

;)     :D     :)

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Fighting Physical Cravings: How Does One Do It???

Sooo…

…How Does One…

…How Do YOU Fight Those Cravings Of The Flesh???

How Do You Not Feel Affectionate…

…Nor Aroused…

…Nor Just Plain Horny, When You See Certain Parts Of Your Lover That GREATLY Turn-You-On???

I Don’t Even Mean This In A Dirty Way.

Not Really.

The Blade Of Their Hip-Bone, Slightly Sticking-Out, Lightly Exposed, While Youre Laying Together.

(((That's MY FAVORITE, By The Way.)))

Or, The Curve Of Their Neck Into Their Naked Shoulder.

Or, Their Amazingly Clear And Beautiful Eyes, After Removing Their Wiry-Glasses.

I Sincerely Can’t Help Myself In The Presence Of These Things.

Strange, But Wonderful, Sensations Flood My Mind And Body.

I Want To Trace, And Lightly Tongue, That Hip-Blade.

I Want To Nibble And Nite And Kiss The Neck, The Curve, And The Naked Shoulder.

I Want To Stare Into Those Eyes Allllll-Night-Long

And Into The Following Morning.

THE SPARK

My Muse

My Lust

My Love

My Desire

…Makes Me Burn.

Not With Anything Bad.

No.

Well, Not Really.

But, I Do Burn.

I Burn With WANT And NEED.

How Does One, In The End, Fight Against WANT And NEED???

I Can't.

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Multipurpose-Post: The State Of My Union, Part I

Good Morning, My Peeps.

How’s Things?

All Swell In Your Worlds?

Honestly, Things Have Been A Bit Odd Of Late Within My Own.

I’ve Been Going Through A Bout Of Some Pretty Extreme Personal-Depression That Has Been Sapping And Corking My Creative Juices.  It Happens To Us All At Some Point, Or At Least Happens To Those Of Us Intelligent Enough To Understand Our Own Situations.

My Life Situation Just Plainly Sucks.

Period.

I’m Trying To Take The High-Road. I’m Trying To Keep My Head Above The Water I Seem To Endlessly Be Treading. I’m Trying To Carry-On In The Only Way I Know How.

I Just Haven’t Felt Like Writing.

Not. At. All.

As I Said To Someone Earlier…

“…I pick-up my pen, I put it to the paper, but nothing comes out. I’ve just been so caught-up in personal emotional BS that everything else has taken a back seat, so to speak. I know I’ll find my voice again… …it’s just not at this moment.”

And Then It Happened, My Peeps.

I Awoke This Morning, And The First Thing I Wanted To Do Was Sit Down And Start Writing.

So, Here I Am. Writing To Y’all, Hoping Things Come-Out Right.

I Truly Have A Ton To Say, Yet Know I Can’t Say Most Of It.

Not Yet, Anyway.

Why?

Because, I Don’t Rightly Know How Some Things Are Going To Play-Out.

It’s Hard To Write About Something When All The Facts Aren’t In.

I Just Know I’m Unhappy.

Honestly, Truly Unhappy.

Not In Every Aspect Of My Life, But In Enough Of Them To Cause All Of This Mental/Emotional BS.

Life Continues To Throw Me Curveball After Curveball, And I’m Really Starting To Get Sick Of It.

Sadly, There’s Nothing I Can Do About That Other Than Continue To Take It All.

But, Changes Are Coming.

Things Are Happening.

While My Personal-Opinion Of Myself May Not Be Very High At The Moment, I’m Starting To Figure My Shit Out.

I’m On The Verge Of A Major Break-Out, Or So It Feels.

While Some Might Crack Under So Much Personal Pressure, I’m Fighting Back.

I’m Fighting Back Hard, My Peeps.

Life Is Giving Me Both Barrels, And I’m Doing Everything I Can To Give ‘Em Right Back.

What Else Can I/Could I Do, My Peeps?!

I’m Not Going To Lay Down And Die.

I’m Not Going To Let The World Rape Me, And Take Away What Little I Do Have.

I’m Not Going To Stop Fighting My Fight.

Period.

I Just Don’t Want Y’all To Worry About Me.

I Don’t Want Y’all To Waste Your Time And Energy On Something So Frivolous.

I’ll Get It All Worked-Out.

It’s Just Going To Take Some Time.

Lucky For Me, I Have All The Time In The World.

So, We Shall See How This All Pans-Out.

If You Wanna Cross Your Fingers For Me (you know, for good luck and such) Then You’re More Than Welcome To Do So.

Down, But Not Out.

That’s Me.

… … …

The Other Purpose Of This Little Posting Is To Celebrate Something Very VERY Special.

I Just Reached Another Personal Milestone With This Little Blog.

Which Milestone Is That, You Ask?!?

1,000 FOLLOWERS!!!

That’s What!!!

Put THAT In Your Collective Pipe And Smoke It, My Peeps!!!

BAAM!!!

1,000 FOLLOWERS!!!

Seeing That Made Me Smile Like Nobody’s Business, Fo SHO!

I Always Kinda Figured I’d Make It To This Stage, Or At Least Did At One Point.

Then I Started Sloughing-Off.

Once That Happened, I Wasn’t Sure I’d Ever Make Here.

But YOU, My Peeps, YOU Kept Coming Back.

New People Kept Showing Up.

The Blog Perpetuated.

We’re Over 1,000 Strong, Now, Kiddies.

Isn’t That Just F-in’ A-MA-ZING?!?!

Good.

I Totally Agree.

:D

I’m Going To Leave You With The Song Of My Morning.

I Don’t Rightly Know How Relevant It Is To My Before Mentioned Topics, But It’s The Song I’m Addicted To, Today.

Ever Heard This One?

YOU GOT IT

by ROY ORBISON

???

Great!!!

I Knew A Lot Of You Would Know It, And I Was Banking The Bulk Of You Would Enjoy It.

It’s One Of ROY ORBISON‘s More Peppy, Upbeat Numbers.

I Know, Most Of You Have Only Heard Me Play His Slower, Slightly More Depressing Tunes…

…But NOT Today.

I Do Sincerely Hope You Enjoy It, Kiddies.

And THANK YOU.

THANK YOU For Continuing To Support Me…

…To Support This Blog…

…To Give Me An Outlet Where I Can Honestly Get Something Back.

I Derive So Much Pleasure From Talking To Y’all, Reading Your Work, Exchanging Comments, Ideas, Etc Etc.

Honestly, I Love It.

Fo F-in’  SHO, My Peeps.

;)     :D     ;)

It’s FRIDAY, Kiddies.

The Weekend Is Upon Us.

Let Us All Try To Make It A Good One.

I’m Going To Do My Very Best, And Trust Y’all Will Be Doing The Very Same.

Take Care, My Peeps.

Try To Be Good.

See Me Soon, And Talk To Me Sooner.

L8r L8r L8r

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What The Hell Is Going On Around Here?!?

Honestly, My Peeps, So So Very Much Has Been Going On.

Life Has Been Quirky…

…Odd…

…Frustrating…

…Wonderful…

…Horrible…

…Exciting…

…Trying…

…Oh, So Very Very Trying.

BUT…

…I’ve Been Weathering It All Quite Well, I Would Say.

I Know It Has Been A While Since We’ve All Shot-The-Shit…

…Kicked-It-Back…

…Talked-Some-Shop…

…BUT…

…I Sincerely Promise There Have Been Plenty Of Quality Reasons.

You See, My Peeps, I’ve Been Trying Very Very Hard To Have A Life.

It’s Not Something I’m Really Accustomed To.

Like, At All.

But, I Have Been Trying.

I Got Myself A Man.  :D

I Got Myself A Job.  :)

I Got Myself Fired From Said Job Before It Really Got Going.  :(

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Son.

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Grandson.

I’ve Been Playing The Helpful/Dutiful Boyfriend.

I’ve Been Playing For The Sake Of Playing.

I’ve Been Having FUN For A Freakin’ Change, And Trying To Enjoy Every Moment Of It.

:D       :)       ;)

Sadly, It Hasn’t All Been Fun And Games.

I’ve Had Multiple Family Members Die Over The Past Few Months.

:*(     :*(

I’ve Suffered Through A Couple Bouts Of Fairly Extreme Illness.

:(

Life Has Really Been Bringing The Heat, But Totally Keeping Me Honest With A Steady Supply Of Curve-Balls.

Sheesh, I Tell You.

Sheesh, Indeed.

:\

I’m Writing This Today Because I’m Looking To Begin Again.

I Miss Working On This Blog A Bundle, Though I Admit I Could Have Come Back To Y’all A Lot Sooner.

But, I Chose To Continue Being A “Reblog-Whore” And Just Let Things Ride.

I Still Plan To Be A “Reblog-Whore”, But I’ll Be Injecting Myself Into Things Whenever I Can.

;)

TODAY…

…APRIL 10TH…

…Is My Birthday.

Everyone Always Asks The Same Question:

"DO YOU FEEL ANY OLDER?"

Honestly, My Peeps, Yes Yes YES I DO.

Period.

I Know I’m Not THAT Old, But I’m Old Enough.

Old Enough To Realize I Have To Continue Trying To Have A Life.

Old Enough To Understand How Important It Is To Continue Onward.

Old Enough To Feel Old Enough.

I’m Tired, My Peeps.

I’m So Very Tired.

But, There Are Still Duties To Perform…

…And Life Goes On.

I’m Going To Leave Y’all For Now.

But, I Do Promise To Be Back Again.

I’ve Been Writing A Lot.

Pen-To-Paper, Ya Know?

Perhaps I’ll Be Sharing More Of That With Y’all.

I Plan To.

So Let Us All See If I Actually Make That Happen.

I Really Do Plan To.

As I Exit (for now) I’m Going To Leave You With A Song.

A Song That Has Quickly Become A Personal Favorite.

DEPECHE MODE Has Just Released Their Latest Album, DELTA MACHINE, And I’m Totally In LOVE/LUST With It.

Depeche_Mode_-_Delta_Machine (via Wikipedia)

The Song For Today Is…

SOOTHE MY SOUL

…And It’s A Real Kicker!

I Sincerely Hope Y’all Enjoy It.

I Find It Simply Exceptional!!!

Please Take Care, My Peeps.

I’ll Write More When I’m Able.

Until Then…

…Take Care…

…Be Good…

…See Me Soon…

…And Talk To Me Sooner!!!

Much Love To Y’all, Fo SHO Fo SHO!!!

:D     :D     :D     :D     :D

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:D     :D     :D

I’ve Been Putting Pen-To-Paper So Much…

…I’ve Nearly Lost Myself Here.

I Don’t Mean To Neglect Y’all, My Peeps, But I’ve Been Trying To Take Things In A Whole New Direction.

New For Me.

New For You.

New For Us.

My Fire…

…My Drive…

…My Want…

…My Need…

…My Desire…

…They’re All Returning.

Returning Harder And Faster Than I’d Honestly Known Was Even Possible.

I Was Burning-Out.

The Fire Had Seriously Dimmed.

It Felt Choked.

Smothered.

Almost Strangled Out Of Existence.

And Then It Happened.

The Spark Came Into My Life, And It’s Not Letting Me Go…

…I’m Not Letting It Go.

The Fire Is Burning Hotter And Brighter Than It Has In Forever.

Things Are Changing.

Inside And Out, They’re Are Changing.

And I’m Loving It.

I’m Loving Every Bit Of It.

Am I Setting Myself Up For Failure?

Maybe.

I Don’t Really Care.

No Risk, No Reward.

Right???

RIGHT!!!

Soon, You’re All Going To Start Noticing The Transitions I’m Working-Out.

You’re Going To Hear Me Talk A Lot About TheClean Slate And How It Can Literally Mean Everything.

I Wanted Nothing More Than A Clean Slate

…AFresh Start

…A New Beginning

…However You Wanna Put It.

Now, I’m Getting That Chance.

I’m Making That Chance.

I’m Taking That Chance.

It’s Mine.

All I Have To Do Is Own It.

And, Own It, I Shall.

:)       ;)       :D

And Now, For Your Listening Pleasure, The Song That Totally Says Everything I Need It To Say Right This Moment…

INSIGHT

by DEPECHE MODE

Ultra - Depeche Mode (via Amazon.com)

…From Their 1997 Album “ULTRA” !!!

Enjoy It, My Peeps.

You Already Know I Do…

…I Am…

…I Will.

Always And Forever, I Will.

I’ve Given You An Insight Into MY Life…

…I Just Hope To Reward Your Loving Patience.

Later On, My Peeps.

We’ll Be Talking More VERY Soon!!!

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“…There Were Moments Of Gold… There Were Flashes Of Light… There Were Things I’d Never Do Again… But Then They Always Seemd Right…” –PANDORA’S BOX (“It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (1989))

“…There Were Nights Of Sacred Pleasure

It Was More Than Any Laws Allow

Baby, Baby…”

Originalsin_cover (via Wikipedia)

ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOWWas Originally Released By The Band PANDORAS BOX On The AlbumORIGINAL SINIn 1989 !!!

“…If I Kiss You Like This

And, If You Whisper Like That

It Was Lost Long Ago

But, Its All Coming Back To Me

If You Want Me Like This

And, If You Need Me Like That

It Was Dead Long Ago

But, Its All Coming Back To Me

Its So Hard To Resist

And, Its All Coming Back To Me

I Can Barely Recall

But, ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW! …”

… … … … … … …

… … …

:)

Alright, My Peeps…

…I Know, I Know…

…Call-Out The Lame Police On Me, This Morning.

I Know, I Know.

But, Hell, It Happens To Everyone At Some Point…

…Right???

RIGHT!!!

Now, I’m Not Going To Try To Defend My Position On This Song…

ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW

by PANDORAS BOX

…I’m Really Just Going To Let The Song And The Lyrics Speak For Themselves.

I Awoke With This Song Playing In My Ear, As I Managed To Fall Asleep (again) With My MP3Player Blaring Some Of My Favorite Jams.

I Know There Are Other Versions Of This Little Number…

…But, Honestly, This Is The One I Remember Most…

…And, This Is The One I Enjoy Most.

Again, I Know, I’m Lame.

My Bad, My Peeps.

My Bad, Indeed.

But, When I Awoke, With This Song Cranking Away, I Simply Felt Powerless.

I Was Caught Within Its Grasp.

So, I Listened To It.

And Then Again.

And Again.

Finally, Before Things Got Out Of Hand, I Knew The Only Way I’d Get It Out Of My Head Was To Blog ’bout It.

It At Least Had The Most Potential For Successfully Getting It Unstuck.

Sadly (or happily depending on your view) It Isn’t Working.

I’m Still Listening.

I’m Still Singing Along.

I’m Still Wishing I Could Properly Say All I’d Like To Say, Right Now.

But, I Know I Can’t.

I’ll Just Say This Is A Song That Feeds My Happiness…

…And Makes Me Smile To (apparently) No End.

Yeah, It’s A Cheesy Song.

Yeah, It’s Probably Not The Best Version.

Yeah, I Don’t Really Give A Rat’s Ass Either Way.

What I Can (and will) Say, Is That I’m In Such A Quality Place, Mentally And Emotionally, Right Now.

Feelings I Haven’t Felt In Seemingly Forever Continue To Bubble-Up To The Surface.

I Feel Good.

I Feel Happy.

I Feel Cared For.

I Feel Connected.

How On Hell’s Half-Acre Could I Even Consider Letting Those Feelings Slip Away?

EXACTLY, My Peeps, I CAN’T.

I WON’T.

Said Feelings Simply FEEL Amazing To Me.

I’m Content, Kiddies.

I’m Finally Content.

And, While This May Not Last, I’m Not Going To Knock-It.

I’ve Wanted To Feel This Way For So SO LOOOOONG.

How Could I Give It Up?!?

Again…

…I CAN’T And I WON’T.

Period.

This Song May Be Total Cheese-Balls…

…But It DOES FIT With My Current Mental And Emotional States.

That’s Good Enough To Make It Blog-Worthy, Right???

RIGHT!!!

:D     :D     :D

Please Enjoy Your Day, My Peeps.

The Weekend Is Upon Us.

Let’s Make It A Good One.

We Deserve That.

We Totally, TOTALLY DO, My Peeps.

Totally.

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I Know I’ve Been A Reblog Whore Of Late, But I DO Have My Reasons…

Mainly, Ive Been Out Living My Life.

And, Honestly, It Has Been WILD.

Not WILD As InExotic“…

More LikeChaotic“…’ish.

My Emotional Roller-Coaster Continues.

But, Without Some Of Those Emotional Lows, Would I Really Appreciate All Those Emotional Highs So So SO Keenly???

Doubtful.

Doubtful, Indeed.

Im Taking The Good With The Bad, But Im Content With The Give And Take.

It Seems Only Fair.

My Head And My Heart Have BOTH Been Working Overtime.

Often, Theyve Been Working Said Overtime In Opposing Manners.

And, While There Are A Few Moments Ive Disliked, I Remain Happy.

Thats The Primary Goal, Right?!

The Happiness?!

The Joy?!

The Good Stuff?!

Thats The Game Im Playing, Right Now.

I Dont Really Know If I’m Winning Or Losing

But I FEEL Like Im Winning.

Maybe Thats The Whole Point?!

Maybe?!

I Can Handle AMaybe?!” Alllll Niiiiiiiiight Loooooooong!!!

:)       ;)       :D

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Pissed-ON!?! Pissed-OFF?!? In This Instance, It Felt Like BOTH!!!

Ever Has One Of Those Moments When You Awaken In The Morning (the wee wee hours of said morning), And Something Doesn’t Feel Quite Right??

You Feel Around Lightly, And Are Quickly Able To Notice You’re Soaked.

You’re Laying In Your Own Bed, And The Physical Sensations Are Telling You One Thing…

“O.M.F.G.! I CANNOT BELIEVE I’D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!”

At That Moment, A Touch Of A Giggle Is Met With The Horrifying Power Of Anger.

“Yes, I’m Now Completely DRENCHED And Exceptionally PISSED-OFF!!”

So, I Slowly Try To Roll Out Of What I’m Sure Is A Large Puddle In The Center Of My Bed.

Suddenly, As I Slowly turn…

…I Here A *crumple* *crumple* *crunch* Noises.

So I Quickly Make The Decision And Say, “TO HELL WITH THIS!” As I Jumped Up From My Now Soiled Mattress.

I Check My Clothes First For Conformation.

Sure Enough, My Crotch, My Ass, My Hips, My Sleep-Pants, My Sleep Shirt, All Of Me Is Practically Sopping-Wet.

Then, Upon Further Investigation…

…I Found The Culprit Behind It All.

It Was A WATER BOTTLE.

Open Water Bottle In My Bed

Apparently, Bradley Got Thirsty In His Sleep.

He Reached His Water Bottle, Opened It, Possibly Took A Drink, And Then Proceeded To Roll Back Over Into Sleep.

So, My Peeps, I Was Very VERY Pissed At The Notion That I’d Pissed-Myself…

…And Simply Felt Like An Embarrassed-Fool Upon Realizing I Hadn’t Been PISSED ON.

Period.

That Was At 4AM’ish’ish.

It’s Now 5AM’is’ish.

So, Good Morning To You, My Peeps.

May Your Day Be Filed With Enjoyable Moments.

I Won’t. I’m Seeing The Dentist, Today.

I Never Leave There With A Smile, That’s Fo SHO.

Dammit. :(

Anyway, You Kids…

…Have A Damned Decent Day Out There. :D

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I’m Not Really Sure What To Think…

…I Just Know I’ve Maintained My Good Mood.

I’ve Been This Way Since Friday.

And, Honestly, I Like It.

:D

I’m Not Going To Discuss The Details, As Those Are Mine To Delight In.

I Just Ask That You Be Delighted With Me.

I’ve Been Taking Some Chances, And They’re Paying-Off.

No Risk, No Reward, Right???

RIGHT!!!

And Now…

…Now I’m In The Holding Pattern.

The Classic Game Of Hurry-Up And Wait.

The Thing Is, This Time, I’m Not Sure If I Mind It One Bit.

It’s A Jumble Of Odd Feelings.

I’m Anxious.

I’m Nervous.

I’m Buzzing-About.

It Just Feels Odd.

Not Bad, My Peeps, But Odd.

And, Right Now, Odd Feels Pretty Damned Wonderful.

I’ve Had Good Moments In Life.

I’ve Had Bad Moments In Life.

But, I’m Relishing In These Odd Moments.

Am I Being Foolish???

Honestly, I Don’t Think So.

I Feel Confident.

I’m Not Sure Of What’s Going To Happen…

…But I’m Still Confident.

I’m Confident SOMETHING Is Going To Happen.

That’s The Only Answer I Can Give Where I’m Assured 100% Victory.

I Know, I Know…

…No Risk, No Reward.

Well, In This Instance, I’m Betting On The House.

The House Always Wins, Right???

No, Really, Is That Right???

I’m Generally Not A Gambling Man.

Only When I Want Something Bad Enough, Ya Know?!?

Well, Right Now, I Want Something So Bad I Can Taste It.

I Can Taste It, And It’s Sweet.

It’s So Very VERY Sweet.

But, I’m Going To Have To Work For It.

I’m Going To Have To Work Very VERY Hard.

But, To Me, It’s Worth It.

;)

I’ve Been Listening To A Lot Of Music This Past Day/Night.

YOURE ONLY HUMAN (SECOND WIND)

by BILLY JOEL

…Is The Song I’ve Listened To The Most.

It’s Very Fitting, Right Now.

Give It A Listen.

I’m Sure You’ve All Been In A Similar Situation As The Person In The Song.

I’ve Blogged About The Song Before…

http://youjivinmeturkey.com/2012/11/02/of-all-the-songs-to-get-stuck-in-my-head-youre-only-human-second-wind-1985-by-billy-joel/

…But It’s Very VERY Relevant For Me At This Particular Time.

Like The Man Says…

“…Youve Been Keeping To Yourself These Days

…’Cause Youre Thinking Everythings Gone Wrong

Sometimes  You Just Wanna Lay Down And Die

That Emotion Can Be So Strong

But, Hold On

…’Til That Ole Second Wind Comes Along. …”

He’s Got It Exactly Right, My Peeps.

Spot On, BILLY JOEL, Spot On.

Well Played, Sir, Well Played.

:D       ;)

I Do Promise, My Peeps, That I’ll Keep Y’all Posted As Best As I Can.

For Now…

…For Right Now…

…Just Know I Am Happy.

Whether That Feeling Lasts, Or Not, Remains To Be Seen.

But, For Now, I’m Rollin’ With It.

Sometimes, That’s Good Enough.

Right???

RIGHT!!!

:D       :D       :D

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